I can't say there is a lot of new stuff going on around here, just lots of snuggles and late night feedings. Ellie is looking at us now and keeping her eyes open when we feed her. I feel pretty bad that I haven't been breast feeding and I've only been using the pump. It just hurts way too much! She really chewed me up and made me bleed, which the pediatrician says is bad news and can cause an infection. I figured that since I'll have to pump when I return to work I might as well start now instead of trying so hard to make breastfeeding work out, only to have to stop in a few weeks. It makes me sad because I really wanted it to work out. When it doesn't hurt so badly I really like it, but so far I can only stand maybe once a day.
There is so much pressure to breastfeed that I was really stressed out about it and felt like I failed her. I also felt like I couldn't give her enough milk since she seemed to freak out and still be hungry after she nursed. Not to mention Ellie decided that she would refuse to nurse off the right side! I feel a little better now, since Joe and I decided on a plan. We are feeding her formula at night and pumping every time she wakes up, saving the breast milk for the day and freezing the extra. So far we have had plenty of milk for her and I'm able to freeze some for when I go back to work, where I don't think I'll be allowed to pump.
As long as she grows up healthy that's all I care about!